Alessandro Ricardo
5 min readFeb 23, 2021

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How to fix a marriage that is falling apart

how to fix a marriage that is falling apart

If you have the impression that your effective life is falling apart and you want to save your relationship, know that the first step will be a self-assessment. All couples go through a series of stages throughout their relationship. While in some there may be greater harmony, in others there seems to be a continuing lack of agreement and empathy. Sometimes the couple conflict over small details. Have you noticed?

Steps to save a relationship that is falling apart

  1. Self-observation
  2. The dialogue
  3. Times and distances
  4. Learn to trust
  5. Resume sexual desire
  6. Couple therapy to save the relationship
  7. Restart the relationship
  8. Both have to want to save the relationship

It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when love and feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.

Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. My spouse told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I automatically lashed back in defense.

It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of perfume. But to me, it represented something much deeper that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be, worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.

What are the essential ingredients in an ideal relationship?

In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to main

Love or be loved
What is more important to you: to love or be loved? Sometimes you have to choose. If your partner is going through a difficult time, and cannot pay enough attention, you need to know how to respect it. If you really love him, even if someone or some situation is taking his energy, be willing to give your love, even if you receive little in return.

Donate as much as you think necessary
When you really find someone worthwhile, avoid restraining yourself. You should feel free to say “I love you” as often as you feel necessary, without fear. If you exaggerate self-control while loving, you may be missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures.

End point in discussions
Donate as much as you think necessary
When you really find someone worthwhile, avoid restraining yourself. You should feel free to say “I love you” as often as you feel necessary, without fear. If you exaggerate self-control while loving, you may be missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures.

Finger on wound
To preserve the relationship, avoid hurting your partner during discussions. If you really like to insult him with words that can hurt you deeply, this is probably not love.

Be willing
If you would cancel a fun weekend to stay home with him because he is sick, he would do the same. If you would fly to another state to visit you, it would also do the same for you. Thinking honestly: would your partner be willing to do everything that you would do for him? Analyze this question, since, in real life, there are difficulties, age arrives and, therefore, a good partner must be ready to be a companion even in the most difficult moments.

The ex’s luggage
Be aware that the story you had with other boyfriends is just baggage. Keep memories away from your current relationship, and learn to look at situations with a clearer perspective. No one can be held responsible for a partner’s past mistakes.

Making own decisions
Many relationships are based on a dynamic that is more like parents and children than two partners. Your partner must trust you and believe that you are able to accept the challenge you want. He must believe that you know what is right for yourself, more than anyone else — even himself.

The temptation of the phone
This is one of the main tests of confidence, from which many people fail. If your partner’s phone happens to be giving you soup on the table, the temptation arises — check or not check the latest calls and messages? If you end up giving in, you may be crossing a path of mistrust with no return.

Restoring energies
Your relationship should give you energy so that you have the breath to take care of other sectors of your life, such as family, work and friends. If you are tired, or suffering, because your relationship is taking too much of your energy, something is wrong. All kinds of relationships require energy, but problematic relationships just take it away, and don’t give it back.

Remote connection
If you haven’t seen your partner in a few days, and are concerned that the connection between you will weaken, be careful. A healthy relationship allows both of you to feel comfortable in your free time. If a single weekend away can shake your relationship, so can other things. The connection between you must be strong enough, even if you are on a different side of the planet.

Write down the tips on the Madame Noire website and ensure a harmonious and lasting coexistence Love or be loved What is most important to you: to love or be loved? Sometimes you have to choose. If your partner is going through a difficult time, and cannot pay enough attention, you need to know how to respect it. If you really love him, even if someone or some situation is taking his energy, be willing to give your love, even if you receive little in return Photo: Getty Images
Donate as much as you think is necessary When you really find someone worthwhile, avoid restraining yourself. You should feel free to say “I love you” as often as you feel necessary, without fear. If you exaggerate self-control while loving, you may be missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures.

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Alessandro Ricardo
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Sou, orador motivacional empreendedor e influênciador digital prometo trazer bom ánimo e muitas dicas que vão mudar sua vida